It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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