I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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