i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
