Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
