If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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