Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
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