i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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