I think I won the penis lottery.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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