you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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