I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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