HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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