You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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