Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
