so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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