You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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