She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
