Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
where am i from again
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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