I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize