this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
