if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
