Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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