Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
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next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
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I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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