How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize