I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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