He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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