he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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