When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
