are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
