Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
