I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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