i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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