I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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