The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
