i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
