jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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