At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
