SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
