how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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