Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
