My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize