i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
