How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
