Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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