upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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