no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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