i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
