You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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