found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
