Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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