He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
ttyl tear gas
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
