Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
