no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
