i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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