so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
