I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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