there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
