i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
