I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You are a genius and a whore.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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