I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
