# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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