i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
