Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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