I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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