I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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