I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
