Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
