I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
